Adding Insult To Injury

As if it couldn't get any worse, after puffing, panting and almost passing out at the gym and after realizing that I am undeniably the least fit person of my age on the planet, I have signed up for the Bupa Great Manchester Run.

Always speculating to accumulate I have invested the £30 registration fee in the hope that friends and family will be so shocked that I've alctually registered for a run that they're simply hand over their wallets in amazement. I won't lie, I'm not ready for it at all. The last time I went to the gym to 'train' I couldn't feel my legs after 2km, at 2.5 I was ready to stop moving and let the treadmill fling me into the wall and at 3 my body practically forced me to press the emergency stop button and limp back to the changing rooms. I have no idea how 10km will treat me ("Only 10km?!" you say. "I thought it was a marathon!").

Doing the maths I estimate that at a push I could cover 2.5km in just over 15 minutes, although after this I'm sure I would be ready for a couple of hours rest in front of the TV. That means that by May I need to double my abilities twice over. But how do you go about doing that?

I'm assuming tahat the officious looking people in the red polo shirts at the gym will have some ideas. Personally I think it's impossible. But then again, that's why I applied.

Coincidentally, you can sponsor me for this and all other future events using the 'Sponsor' button to the right of this text.

A timetable of events currently organized and more news on my imminent death by running soon.

Ben

The Mean Mile

I've just returned from my first 'training' trip to the gym and from the looks of me you'd think I'd run the London Marathon. I'm still wearing my jogging bottoms, red faced, sweating and I think my heart rate has only just returned to normal. In a word I'm shattered, un-fit. That's not to say I was surprised at just how little it took to make me feel like I'd just passed a quiet hour with the Spanish Inquisition but it is a little dissapointing that at 22 I was (quite literally) out-jogged by a skinny pensioner not even half my size on the adjacent treadmill.

So what was it that pushed me to the point of collapse? What gargantuan feat of cardiovascular excess made me feel more exhausted than I have in years? I'd like to lie and tell you I ran 10km in under 30 minutes and then jogged to the rowing machine to row the final 10km but I can't. The truth is that after 15 minutes running at 9km/hr I managed to find enough strength for a meagre 10 mimutes on the exercise bike before retiring to the changing room with multiple stitches, a dry mouth and inexplicable pains in my chest.

But what did I expect after a year of takeaways, TV and upwards of 40 pints a week? I've hardly been living the health fanatics dream and this, as I have written previously, is the year of change, so where better to start than absolute zero? And who knows, at the end of the whole ordeal (because that is certainly what it is) I might be body beautiful as well as being able to hand over a rather large cheque to charity.

For now I'm going to relax enough for my face to return to it's normal colour, drink a glass of water and write down what exactly I managed today so that tomorrow I can try and beat it, even if it's only by an extra minute. My one pair of tracksuit bottoms can be thrown in the wash ready for tomorrow and I can spend the rest of the day smug in the knowledge that I have started the new regime.

Fran's also joining a local gym soon. I'm quietly wondering whether I can work a competition of some sort into that one. Let's hope she fairs better than me anyway! More soon.

Ben

Funding For Fitness

While going to China to Trek the Great Wall and make as much money as possible for Scope seemed like a fantastic idea, the last couple of days have completely failed to produce any methods at all for just how we are going to get the money that we need. Undoubtedly £5400 is no small amount and so, while a tombola and a sponsored silence might pay for a taxi to the airport, it certainly isn't going to see us all the way to the mysterious East. Thus, we've realized that to get as much money for the charity as possible some sizeable events will have to be planned. And lots of them.

To say the guy at the gym this morning gave me a 'knowing smile' would be an understatement. As I remember it he looked up, laughed, looked back down, shook his head and then handed me the 'new members form' and a pen whilst obviously trying to hold back the laughter and said 'New Years resolution is it?' And he's right, it is, but cleverly I've managed to incentivise. Not only have I found a reason to go to gym but I've also found an excuse for paying the membership fee. You see, no longer have I joined a gym because I'm a bit podgy and would rather waste money than go on an all out diet, I have joined a gym because I am 'in training.'

I am in training for the first part of 'Operation: Make Money For Trek China 2008.' It's basically a sponsored walk. Specifically it is a sponsored walk across the notoriously difficult first day of the Pennine Way in the Peak District from Edale to Crowden and I am on a mission to get everybody I know involved. I've sent out emails and text messages, I've phoned people and arranged to meet several others and I do not intend to stop until everyone I know has agreed to take part and has taken a sponsorship form and a begging letter to their places of employ.

It's no great shakes. But it's a start.

Ben